So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
