Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
