I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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