Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
