remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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