i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
