so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I forget how to act sober
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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