Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Someone signed my nipple.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
