go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
