It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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