You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
