their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
