Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
