You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
