i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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