this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
