the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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