We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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