Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Is it because I queefed?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
