remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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