some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
