i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
