i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
