Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
