We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
