yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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