Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
