I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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