Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
