Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You are the jesus of drinking
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
