That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
