yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
