yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
