I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
