i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
