it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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