You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
