do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
