With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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