she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
