he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
