I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize