It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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