Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
