I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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