dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Drake has all the answers
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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