the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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