Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Cold hands, warm shart.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
