I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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