I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
