Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
