I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
