drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
