stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
