I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
