its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
