So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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