I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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