I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
