So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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