Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
