Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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