hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize