This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize