he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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