Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
