he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
