you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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