The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My cat gives me a boner
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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