Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
