Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
