we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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