I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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