I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
