Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
