And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
